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Do you love yourself? Like, really love yourself in the same way you love your children or your partner or your best friend? When you listen to your self-talk, how do you speak about yourself? Do you accept yourself for who you are? Are you kind?
Self-love is all about seeing yourself as being worthy of love. It’s about respecting and valuing yourself. But Consultant Psychologist Dr Bec Jackson says that there’s an important step before self-love.
“Self-compassion is the doorway to self-love,” she explains. “Sometimes giving yourself compassion and self-care is more accessible, and then you can embrace self-love.”
No matter where you are in the journey to fully and wholly accepting yourself, Dr Bec shares her insights on how to practise self-love.
When you love someone, you naturally want the best for them. Parents try to do whatever they can to look after their children’s health. They make appointments with the doctor if their kids feel unwell and ensure their children take any prescribed medication.
Do you do the same for yourself?
Suppose you’re still learning how to practise self-love. In that case, lack of a related concept – self-esteem – may also negatively affect your quality of life. Just some of these effects may include:
Self-love is all about seeing yourself as being worthy of love.
If you’re ready to jump on the self-love train, Dr Bec suggests starting with self-compassion first.
“Self-compassion includes skills like mindfulness, empathy and kindness,” she says. “Once you have those foundations, you can build on them towards self-love.”
So how can you start to practise self-love and self-compassion? Dr Bec suggests five things to try:
Keeping a journal may help to build your self-esteem.
Breakups suck. And it can be even harder to practise self-love when your heart is broken.
So how do you practise self-love when you’re in the process of getting over a breakup?
The results of one research study suggest that self-compassion may be helpful for people going through a divorce. As Dr Bec said earlier, “self-compassion is the doorway to self-love.”
Part of self-compassion is being kind to yourself. Try to treat yourself with the same compassion as you would a good friend who was in the same situation.
Find ways to bring more of the activities that you love doing into your life to help you ‘fill your cup’.
If you want to really kickstart your self-love journey, you could set yourself a challenge. Decide on your own self-love affirmations, and get into the habit of saying them daily for the whole week.
Here are some ideas for positive affirmations to use in the self-love challenge:
Mindfulness might help you to really tune into your thoughts and emotions.
Keeping a journal may help to build your self-esteem. As such, it might be something to consider doing on your journey towards self-love.
Journaling may be good for our mental wellbeing. One research study found that people who journaled about the positive aspects of their lives and themselves may have experienced increased mental wellbeing as a result.
And the beauty of a journal is that you can read back through it and reflect on how far you’ve come.
You could incorporate your self-love journal into your work-life balance planner, or start a new journal altogether.
Sometimes, we have to look after ourselves first before we can look after others. Practising self-love is not selfish. Try the five tips Dr Bec suggested above to get started on your self-love journey today.
Related:
Dr Bec Jackson is a Consultant Psychologist with 20 years’ experience across clinical psychology, academia, therapy and education in clinical, forensic and organisational psychology.
Reviewed by the healthylife Advisory Board February 2022.